Blame it on the Dog
by youngwriter56
Summary: Draco and Ginny have been best friends for so long, they are practically an old married couple. So when Draco is forced out of blissful bachelorhood, Ginny is determined to find him a suitable wife, and insanity ensues. All because of the goddamn dog. G/D


"You home?"

Draco bolted up from his bed, staring into his crackling fireplace.

"Gee, Gin, what if I wasn't?"

"Then I would have bothered every friend and girlfriend you have, of course. Listen, I need some quick advice."

Sighing, Draco trudged out of bed, moving to sit in front of his brick fireplace.

"What is it?"

"Shit, dollface, I can see up your boxers!"

"Don't even try to feign bashfulness… you lived with 6 brothers. What is it you have to bother me in middle of the night for?"

"You weren't even sleeping. I can here the water running from here. Who's the girl this time? Must be good enough to at least bring to your flat…" Draco could see a trace of a smirk on her vaguely formed face.

"Just get on with your problem."

"Dan Shorts wants drinks at Hog's Head. That's 100% booty call right? No strings at all—he just ups and bolts in the morning before I wake up, right?"

"No doubt. And his last name is not the only thing that's short, you know. Just go to sleep, you look like a wreck."

"You know I clean up fast. Plus, you can't even see me clearly from the floo. Anyway, thanks. I'll be on my way, then. Sorry in advance if—when— I'm late for breakfast tomorrow. In my defense, you _knew _8 AM is unreasonably early for someone like me."

"And in my defense, you know my schedule's packed the rest of the week. Tomorrow morning was the only time I had. And I am NOT letting you go out this late at night, especially with a bloke like Dan Shorts."

A spark of flame shot up and missed Draco's eye by mere centimeters. "Shush, sir, let my sex life be. Speaking of, I think your lady friend is done with her shower. That's my signal. Good night!" As quickly as she came, the fire in the fireplace vanished and Draco stared into the empty black hole.

Cursing under his breath, Draco wandered back to his closet to slip on a decent shirt. As he pulled up his pants, there was a small click on his bathroom door, indicating that the lady of the night had returned to his bedroom.

"Draco?"

"In here."

The blonde sensation from Australia sauntered into the room, a sly grin on her face. She nodded at the pants Draco was currently buttoning. "Why bother putting those back on?"

"I've some business to attend to."

Marissa- or Melissa, did it really matter?- frowned. "So… you're leaving?"

"Yes." Draco threw her dress over toward the doorway. "And so are you."

The girl opened her mouth to say something but hung her jaw. She had no words; she knew his reputation before she even met him that night and she was lucky enough to be brought to his flat as opposed to a hotel or as legend has it, a cheap motel in Diagon Alley. Silently, she put on her clothes. Draco at least had the manners to retrieve and mend her necklace that had been ripped off her neck only an hour ago. He even waited as she packed her belongings, and granted her a single wave before she turned and left his bedroom for the last time.

A few moments later, Draco appeared from his room, ready to leave with a jacket in hand when a certain ominous presence in his living room stopped him. He pivoted slowly on his feet.

"Hello Draco."

"Hello mother."

"Sit down, why don't you. I have a few matters to discuss with you."

OOO

Draco's alarm rang daily at promptly 7 AM, but it was his dog, Salvatore, that actually woke him up in the morning, a minute into the alarm.

"Just calm the hell down, why don't you. I'll walk you in due time." Draco muttered. This morning, however, Draco noticed another small, yet very distinct presence in his bed. Peering open his eyes, the bare minimum, it only took a flash of deep red and a quick sniff of apricots to recollect on a very vague flashback of the previous night—the bedroom door clicking, a small figure climbing into bed, his arm reflexively wrapping itself around her nonexistent waist, her curved back pressed tightly against his chest.

Unraveling himself from their rather intimate position, Draco silently climbed out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen to make breakfast. Expectedly, the disheveled woman appeared from his room as soon as the pancakes hit the plate.

"Mmm, nothing like homemade pancakes in the morning."

"Is that why you came here so late last night?"

"Maybe I was subconsciously scheming that. I am such a smart drunk, you know." Ginny sat in her seat across from him and dug into her food almost immediately.

"How did things go with Dan Shorts?"

"Ah, turns out his last name and height are not the only things that are short…"

"Oh god."

"No, not like that, you sick bastard. I mean his alcohol tolerance. Thus, I wasted two hours with him arguing the capabilities, or lack thereof, of our new minister."

"You mean, your brother?"

"You don't know Perce until you've lived with him." Ginny reached over and stabbed another pancake off Draco's plate. "Anyways, I'm surprised you never came by to give me a good word about self respect and the usual shit."

"Yeah well, I was held up by something."

"Oh, lady? She really must have been something, then, huh?"

"No, never. You know I put your self respect above all other women's."

"Because you're the one who goes around shattering any 'self-respect' a woman ever had. Anyways, what was the problem? Work?"

"No. It was mother."

Ginny's lips formed a perfectly circular "O," and she resumed her new task of stealing as many pancakes as possible.

"Anyways, she wants me to get married."

"Ah, nothing new, then…"

"Well this time, she has a few… let's say, private matters she's bringing in to meddle in our little daily disputes."

"Like what? What could she possibly hold against you?"

"My inheritance."

"Oh."

Draco snatched away his plate, and grabbed his last pancake before throwing it in the sink.

"I mean, the money, I can deal with. I've been running my own company for years now. I've been living on my own… my father's corrupted money means very little to me."

"Yeah! Of course!"

"But she also found the ownership papers for Salvatore. Turns out, she really did buy him for me under her own name."

"She's using your _dog _against you?"

"I tell you… she's ruthless."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Get married, I guess… I don't really have a choice."

"Well, honestly, you do…" Ginny said, carefully.

"She can take away all my money for all I care, taking away Salvatore is just sick. He's a live mammal, capable of feelings, and a mind—a brilliant one, too—of his own. I might as well send him to an animal torture camp if I'm going to send him to my mother."

"Right."

"So speaking of… why don't you just marry me?"

Ginny frowned. "Did you seriously just propose to me?"

Scrunching up his face, Draco scratched his head stressfully. "I guess… I mean, you're the only other woman I talk to on a regular basis besides my mother, and the only one I talk to willingly."

"I know I'm not the typical woman but I do have some old fashioned beliefs you know."

"Oh, like the ring and everything? The piece of scrap metal that's supposed to bind you to one person for the rest of your life?"

"Oh, don't talk about it like it's the worst thing in the world. And really, over pancakes during breakfast… a little tacky don't you think?"

"Okay, fine, I agree. That was a bit ungentlemanly of me. But in all seriousness, why not? If you really want, I can still let you go off and do what you like… you will definitely not be strapped down as housewife material at all."

"Yeah, but Draco…" Ginny grabbed his hand from across the table. "I know that I am your last resort. Marriage is not just something you do; it's something that's a lifetime. You can't treat this as just one of the many things Draco and Ginny will accomplish together. Plus, the last real boyfriend I had was Harry Potter back in Hogwarts. I cannot accept that as the end of my dating career."

"But we're already practically married. I am even willing to let you date on the side if you must."

Ginny gave him a sad smile and sank back into her chair. "I guess I'm just more old fashioned that you thought I was."

Draco nodded. "Maybe I'm the weird one for not believing in that stuff…"

"I guess that's what happens when your father tries to kill your mother every waking moment of your childhood…"

"If you weren't my best friend, you'd be dead by my hands."

Ginny chuckled. "You mean, show me a small preview of our married life?"

"Not funny."

"I think it kind of was."

"Now, you're just trying to anger me."

Ginny flashed him a wily smile. "What are you going to do about that, Mr. Malfoy? Demonstrate what happens when your wife disobeys you, why don't you?"

"I am not my father." Draco said tensely, but softly. That was all he needed to say to wipe the grin off her face.

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "It's me who's sorry for bringing it up in the first place. I should have known better. Forget this conversation ever took place now… more coffee?"

"No." Ginny put down her fork and bore her thoughtful gaze through his skull. "Look, how's this? Since it's nearly impossible for you to find yourself a girl completely on your own without breaking her heart at the first date, I can try to find you a suitable wife among the people I know—women who will not merely fall at your feet, but will be real wife material for you."

Draco scowled. "Like matchmaking?"

"Not nearly like the crap your mom forces you into all the time. Come on, it'll be good for you. The more I think about it, the better I like this idea. This way, I'll be able to approve of the girl so you won't need to worry about my approval, and since I know what your mother wants, I'll be able to hand pick to her likings."

"I still might end up hating you."

"I owe it to you. After taking care of me and meddling in my love life or lackthereof for the past 10 years, you deserve my help."

Draco scoffed. "Deserve? More like punishing me with your help."

"It's better than nothing. I can assure you that I'll probably find someone before you do. And I, unlike you, know what your mother looks for in a daughter in law. It'll be fun!"

"For you."

Ginny reached across the table and grabbed his face between her hands. "Trust me."

"Le-go" Draco sputtered, his cheeks smashed in her hands.

"Draco, just trust me"

"Ifffcant"

"_Trust _me." Ginny dragged his face to hers and stared intensely into his eyes.

After the longest minute in his life, Draco relented. "Fine!"

Breaking into a toothy grin, Ginny let go. "That's my cue to leave! Don't forget Saturday night! Hermione's coming back!"

"What! It's your turn to do dishes!" Draco exclaimed, reaching for her arm as she flew past him, grabbed her coat, and apparated.

"Goddamn witch."

OOO

"Harry's what?" Hermione gasped.

"Dating. And not even a normal, nice girl like me. He's dating Amy Wilkin." Ginny gagged at her name.

Draco shook his head and continued. "She's some American girl he picked up on one of his vacations, and he knows we all hate her but he's been hanging onto her fat ass for half a year now. And trust me, you didn't miss out on anything."

"Yeah… Saturdays haven't been the same since she came. And since you left…" Ginny said, smiling widely at her old friend.

"Well, you know… I needed a nice break from here. What else has changed? How is everyone else?" Hermione asked, carefully.

"You mean, how's Blaise?" Draco prodded, smirking.

"And Ron?"

"The men you left behind?"

"Shut up, Malfoy. As people say, time heals all scars. They're still not… well…" Hermione trailed off, biting her lip.

Ginny chuckled. "I don't know… Blaise hasn't really said anything about it, but he's still with Luna if that's what you were wondering. And Ron… he should be fine. He was your friend before he was your boyfriend so all you have to do is wait for him to get really drunk and tie up some loose knots. He seemed really excited to see you when I told him you were coming back."

"Speak of the devil, here they come."

The three turned around in their usual booth at Three Broomsticks to see Ron, Blaise, and Luna enter their favorite pub.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, rushing through the pub and giving her a warm hug. "You're back! You look great!"

"Thanks! You too. I caught a few of your games on the telly in France… your 'best keeper of the year' title really is no joke."

Ron beamed. "Half of it is luck. But the other half's not so thanks. Here, did you order?" He took a seat next to Hermione, leaving the couple behind him the seats across their old friend.

"Hello, Hermione. France really has done wonders for you." Luna said with a large smile.

"Of course, since there, she has nothing to worry about." Blaise added, glancing over her with his dark eyes.

"It's great to see you two also." Hermione replied weakly. The tense moment of awkward silence was finally broken by Ginny.

"Draco and I are taking bets on what Amy is sporting tonight. Any hits?"

"I haven't seen red for a while…" Ron offered.

"She wore that red dress to the ministry picnic on Monday, remember?"

"I've got this one; it's going to be purple. I saw her eyeing the purple rack at Madame Malkins the other day." Ginny said, confidently.

"Potter was wearing green today, though. She probably wants to match with him."

"You don't say… that's probably right."

"But Harry also changes about three times a day." Hermione said, thoughtfully.

"Mmm, newcomer is right. Not bad, Hermione, I'd say you're a natural." Ginny laughed. "I am sticking with purple. I know she has something new in her closet she wants to show off, and I am willing to bet on purple."

"Why don't we see for ourselves?" Ron said, nodding toward the door where Harry was entering with a sharp woman in a mesmerizing purple dress behind him. Her face was cross as she whispered furiously into Harry's ear, and he pursed his lips and replied with a few words. He looked up and gave Hermione a very strained, but genuine smile.

"Oy, Hermione!"

"Harry!" Hermione squeezed out of their table to embrace her best friend while Ginny gleefully collected a galleon from Draco. "Oh, it's so good to see you."

"It's nice to meet you too, I'm Harry's girlfriend." The woman, unmistakably the notorious Amy, said coldly from behind Harry, glaring at Hermione. She immediately let go.

"Oh, yes, I've heard much about you." Hermione said vaguely, shaking her hand.

"All good things, of course?" Amy said, cackling at her own joke. "Let's sit down, my heels are _killing _me. You know the thing with new shoes is they take so long to break in, and by the time they are, you don't even like them anymore." Laughing again, Amy led them over to the table. Taking a seat next to Ginny, Amy was immediately stopped by Draco.

"Oh wait, Amy, that's Hermione's seat and she's kind of the guest of honor tonight." Draco said, glancing at Ginny who had turned a slight shade of blue as Amy sat down.

"Is it? Oh, that makes things problematic doesn't it? I always sit next to Harry."

"It's okay, I can move to that side. You and Harry can sit next to Blaise." Luna said, moving over to sit next to Ron on the edge.

"Oh, you're such a sweetheart." Amy said, beaming as she took her place next to Blaise who glared at Draco. Hermione and Harry joined them moments later with drinks.

"So, Amy, I adore your dress." Hermione gushed, a barely noticeable sparkle in her eye.

"Why thank you! As they say, purple is the new red. But this is probably nothing compared to the stuff you saw in France… oh you're so lucky."

"Perhaps, I wouldn't know. I have no eye for fashion."

"Hmm…" Amy looked Hermione up and down, a slight grin forming on her lips. "Well, at least you're smart." Ginny snorted at the remark, receiving a kick in the shin from Draco.

"Well, I think it's time for a toast… to Hermione. We still love you despite the clothes you wear." Ron said as everyone laughed.

"So you guys are all friends from Hogwarts?"

"Not really. Well Hermione was with me and Ron since school but the seven of us met through post war efforts. The seven of us started the restoration team in the ministry. Hermione, Ron, and I worked on rebuilding the ministry, Draco and Ginny tracked down remaining death eaters, and Blaise and Luna took care of the victims, and..." Harry trailed off suddenly, staring intently into his firewhiskey.

"And?" Amy prodded.

"Well…"

"Merlins, Wilkins, how many times does Potter have to tell you the story? I swear I've heard him tell you at least a dozen times now. That's all in the past now, I don't see why you have to feign such interest." Blaise interrupted.

Though taken back by his sudden harshness, Amy refused to be cast aside without a fight. "So, Blaise, I guess that's how you met, Luna, yes?"

"How long are you going to make conversation with the obvious?" he replied, taking a chug at his firewhiskey.

"Oh, stories of love never get old. Even the stories of old love like Harry and Ginny…" Amy stopped to give Ginny a cold glare that Ginny casually brushed off. "Anyway, I think it's absolutely adorable how you two met. How long did it take you before you realized you were in love?" Amy asked, directing her attention at the brooding gentleman beside her.

Blaise stared coldly at his drink before his pursed lips turned into a manic smirk. "I don't know… remind me, Granger, would you? How long did it take?" Hermione looked away, avoiding his unwavering gaze.

"That's enough, Amy, stop poking your nose in other people's business." Harry said, his countenance clearly annoyed like mostly everyone else's.

"Why? Is there something I'm missing here? I really didn't intend to probe or anything. I had no idea."

"No idea what? You obviously know everything that happened. You just want to hear it for yourself." Ginny cut in, thoroughly pissed.

"Hear what?" Amy asked, her fake curiosity completely transparent.

"Oh, cut it out." Ron said, turning into a vivid red. "Everyone knows Hermione dumped me years ago. It's old news, but you've got to live under a rock to not know it."

Amy gasped. "Oh no, I didn't mean to open up old wounds or anything… I hope I didn't make things awkward."

Harry gave her a warning look. "Amy…"

Ron shook his head. "Well you did, but you're not going to get the drama you wanted, I'm sorry. I'm not going to get up and ask what the hell Hermione's doing here, if that's what you were expecting because Hermione's one of my oldest and best friends." Hermione placed a hand over his and smiled at him thankfully.

Amy sat back in her seat, only slightly disappointed, and quickly recovered. "Well, good, because I'd like everyone to be as excited as we are when I announce that Harry and I are moving in together!"

"What?!" Draco exclaimed, suddenly.

"Harry, tell me that's not true!" Ginny cried, shocked.

"And what if it is?" Amy asked, looking directly at Ginny.

"That's ludicrous."

"Why? Because he's moving in with me and not with you?" Amy asked, an innocent smile on her face.

"Amy!" Harry yelled, slamming down his cup.

"What? I'm just being careful. You can never know with old feelings… I mean, look at Blaise…"

Hermione suddenly stood up, gathering her belongings. "I'm sorry, I think… I should really get going…. I'll talk to you all tomorrow." Mumbling her goodbyes, Hermione swiftly squeezed out of the booth and practically flew out the door. Soon after, Ginny stood up as well, fuming.

"I'm leaving too. I'll see most of you very soon."

"I'll go with you." Draco said, quickly getting up as well.

"I should go find Hermione… I don't even know if she has a place to stay." Ron said, also leaving the table. In a matter of seconds, half the group had fled their monthly gatherings, and only Harry, Amy, Blaise, and Luna remained.

"Well, I guess it's just the two functional couples left." Amy said cheerfully, taking a sip of her butterbeer.

After a few minutes of utter silence, Luna took Blaise's hand and smiled at Amy who sat across the table triumphantly. "Congratulations, Amy."

OOO

A/N

For some reason, I really must enjoy writing bitch-ass characters like Amy. It just comes so easily. The other characters, I'm still struggling with a bit, but wow, her part was just so smooth to write. I hope it doesn't mean I'm secretly a huge bitch inside. Though that might also be true.

Anyways, I know I haven't updated any of my stories for a very long time. I don't really have an excuse. I'd like to say I'll get to it but I'm not even sure about that. I honestly, though, have started on the next chapter for all of them; I just can't seem to really finish them. I have about half of the last chapter of "Caffeine Addicts" written, but I just can't bring myself to finish it. It's just not good enough.

Thus, I keep starting on new stories, never getting around to finish the old. I can promise that I'll finish them somehow, I just don't know exactly when.

Anyway, I'm having a hard time finding a light read these days on fanfiction so I've just started writing one. And I haven't really written a multi-character story with real Harry Potter characters before, so this is something new for me as well. I have a lot of good things in store for this story, so hopefully, this becomes one story I can finish. But you of course know I can't do it without your feedback so

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review or I easily lose my will to write. I need as much help as I can get! Let me know what you think! You can be as honest as you'd like!

THANKS, ALL,

HOPEFULLY I WON'T DISAPPOINT. (and hopefully, my dear reviewers won't as well :D!)

LOVE, ME.


End file.
